A silent person

So arguing about my family seems to be a constant thing in my relationship. She has a perfect family I mean the family you see on tv type. Yes like any family they have problems and health issues but no matter what they are there for each other. Each put the other above themselves. They are the opposite of selfish towards each other. It is something I envy but understand. I don't judge in any way anymore but yet I constantly get judged by mine. They screw me over yes but there was a time this didn't happen. There was a time when my dad was alive and sorted all this out. Now that he is gone our family is completely chaotic. It's hard for her to sit there and watch me get screwed I know but I'm slowly trying to adjust myself. Put yourself in my shoes, you are a 22 year old who is on the right path in life. You are doing things your family never did and you have your shit together compared to everyone in your family yet they are older then you. It's hard to tell my family how to live and what they are suppose to do. I have a fear of them thinking I think I'm too good for them or better then them. I don't feel like it should be my job to put people in their place. I don't want to be in charge of that in 22!! It is hard for her to see that even though my family life is rough they are all I have. Yes I have her but if she were to up and leave who would I turn to? I want my family to be better, who wouldnt but it's out of my control.